Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The adults are the big ones right?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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