i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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