We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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