you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
