How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
