He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
