jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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