You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
