YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
