dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
