this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize