My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is wine microwaveable?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
