check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
