Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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