You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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