Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.