Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...