hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We need a shit load of segways right now
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.