Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.