Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.