man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.