then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize