Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
