How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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