Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
