Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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