when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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