Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
