i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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