im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
