Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
