Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
