Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize