Plan B is the new Plan A
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize