i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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