that's an acceptable place to lick
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
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NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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