Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
