my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
