I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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