where are you?
Hypothermia
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
