He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
