i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
