We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
