Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize