it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
