If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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