But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
