I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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