Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize