I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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