Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
