yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize