I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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