Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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