I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
