he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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