his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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