10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize