Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
