I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My vagina just recognized that song.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
