It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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