Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
