no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I faked an abortion last night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
