there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
