The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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